I’ve already touched on guilt and shame In a previous post today, however, another close friend of mine is anxiety, so I figured that it may be helpful to discuss it.
Anxiety can be categorised as the collection of negative automatic thoughts having a dehabiliting effect on oneself.
Anxiety can cause panic, and it is in effect, adrenaline creating a fight or flight phenomenon, without cause to.
Anxiety has a protective function, it helps modulate our behaviour so that we do not end up humiliated, but often, in those in recovery, and certainly in myself, those thoughts often become so prevalent that we start to believe them.
I often believe them, whether they are rational or not.
Our self-critic cannot allow us to think of ourselves in a positive way, and in effect we beat ourselves up.
I personally used to live by the phrase, “I’m an addict, what do you expect?”
i never took responsibility for my actions and I allowed my self-critic to rule my thoughts.
These days I have developed an ability to be mindful. I take a step back and challenge my thought processes.
Being honest, last night I felt that the world would be better off without me. I found myself at the edge of the platform, and the thought occurred to me, to throw myself under the train.
I feel a certain shame that I actually considered it, but also, there was strength in the fact that I didn’t do it.
I questioned the self-talk that said the world would be better off without me. I asked myself if that actually held true.
Evidentally, I decided it didn’t, and I made the thought go away by challenging it.
This is the thing with negative automatic thoughts and critical self-talk, it often folds when challenged.
So if you find yourself thinking negatively, remember to challenge that thought process and don’t let it win!
Stay safe.
You should read this.. 